i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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