please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
