A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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