Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
