Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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