i would punch a child for taco bell
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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