out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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