Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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