Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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