My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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