she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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