My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I lost the right to judge tonight
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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