What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
