I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
