I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
