Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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