We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
