is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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