dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
