Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need moral support for this bender
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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