was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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