This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
