i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize