I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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