i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
