There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
