She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
