I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
