Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
