we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
