dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This girl is more easily done than said...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
