omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
