Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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