sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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