Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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