So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
