so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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