Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
