dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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