What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
