but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
