cat food counts as protein by the way
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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