when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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