I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
