I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
God I need to hump something, right now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
