At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
