fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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