I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
