I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
