Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize