He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
