I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
