somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
