Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Randomize
