Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize