just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
