i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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