a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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