the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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