i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
