I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
