So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
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I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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