Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
