i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
