just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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