obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
